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  Very, Very, lonely. I dint know anyone ,and it is Christmas time. They were having a group of people who were making Christmas cookies for some soldiers that were not going to be home for Christmas. They asked that if anyone would like to help out that they would be making cookies at the church . I showed up and right away felt in the way. This was a church small home group , but the bulletin said all welcome. One lady would push me with her weight and arms to get me out of her way.The words excuse me would have been understood with out the push. I felt out of place. when they said they needed something from the store I volunteered to go. I even offered to buy what was needed, after all I wanted to do my part for our soldiers. When I got back they asked what took me so long. I stood for a few minutes ,before I knew I was a outsider.
  Tonight I went to their Christmas party. Tree lighting , Christmas Carols ,and cookies. sounded fun.I made rice crispy squares with chocolate on top to share. When a church says Church family that is really what they mean. I was a outsider even at this Christ celebration . I smiled and tried to talk to a few people, but I was not part of their enter circle. (some were the cookie makers) .
  Well, it seems that when they say church family they do mean their church family.
  I don't have family and am alone this great holiday season . My friends all have children and grandchildren and even the ones my children and I spent holidays with are now off being grandparents. My daughter spends Christmas with her boyfriends family. She says Churches are cults and God is not real. Boy friends family has $$ . Son ,well he is my protocol child. Being part of this church was al the Christmas I was going to have. I was thinking how nice this was going to be. I couldn't wait for these events. I was looking forward to Christmas eve. That was the best part of Christmas with my children when they were young. All I was looking for was the spirit of Christmas.
  not one person said as much as hello.
  I am for the most part a out going person. I volunteer with the sick and the elderly in and out side conversant homes . Have volunteered with the homeless a few times and yesterday I spent the morning volunteering with others to clean up the Greenway at the Santa Rosa creek. All of these things I enjoy working with others who share the same passions as I do.
  I really would like to help with the homeless night at the church. In the summer I hand out frozen water bottles of water to the homeless or anyone who may be thirsty at a park I enjoy visiting.
  Christmas when my children was always fun because we open our home to people who had no were to go for holidays. These were people from churches, the elderly in my neighborhood to people who were volunteering at various Christmas organization because they could not make it hope for some reason. Like Charlie Brown asks "Does anyone know the real meaning of Christmas?"
  
  I doubt that anyone will read this, but marry Christmas anyway.
  
  

  Added March 01, 2017 by Gloria Russell